I'm the youngest in the photo just wanting to get into the cake.---
You've probably said ‘When I grow up I am going to...' I am still saying it and I am in my fifties! Yeeks! When did that happen? Fifty years ago, right. I’m not laughing out loud but I am chuckling because I am generally good humored. And THAT is just one secret to life if you want to be happy. This writing is not primarily about what you are going to do when you grow up, it is about being happy and valuing what you are doing at every age.
At what age are you considered a grown up anyway. I remember telling my son when he was a toddler how he needed to be a big boy, but then I would turn around and want him to stay little and innocent. No, this writing is not about consistent messaging. Or is it?
When my children were teenagers, it was really challenging to be consistent with my expectations especially if you have more than one kid. Then you have more than one reality to keep track of. Which age level am I working with right now!? We know brains are not fully developed until around 23 years of age, and there is value in the growth process. My daughter taught me a noteworthy lesson when she was a senior in high school. She didn’t make the volleyball team that year after being an influential part of the team for three years. It shocked everyone but the head coach dismissed her. She went on to be an assistant coach because her teammates needed her as a team builder and the coach eventually did as well. (Interestingly, the only game the team won that year was when my daughter coached against the hardest team in the league.)
I have been an advocate for over thirty years learning and implementing alternative aspects to solving issues. Yet, here I am at 52 still wondering what am I going to be when I grow up. With my children all grown up, I am focusing on what I have done and know that I can do more. The ‘more’ just may have to look different for me in the future. It took a pandemic to help me focus. No, this writing is not about life altering experiences making changes in our lives. This writing is about making sure you are doing what you value and makes you happy.
When you don’t even like what you are doing, you need to change what you are doing. I did just that today. A friend helped me see the shift I made because I had not realized I had made it. Sometimes we don’t see our progress because we are too hard on ourselves or have unattainable expectations in the time we give ourselves. This is why I have been delaying the next chapter in life. When my friend said she is still trying to figure out what to do when she gets old, I realized I have a similar mindset. This encouraged me as she is twenty years my senior! Life is truly what you make it, at whatever stage of life you are at. We evolve! The message here is to focus more on doing what I value and being happy, and do it consistently.
–The Evolving Mother