There was a time not long ago when I was feeling deprived. Even when I followed my daily routine, I felt a sense of longing. Then this thing called a pandemic happened. I just thought I was deprived! So for the first two weeks of the stay-at-home order, I didn’t accomplish much. Or did I?
I sat in my family room looking at my back yard mesmerized for long periods of time. I WAS out of bed though. Smiley-face. I wasn’t satisfied. I found that I was feeling deprived because I had not accomplished something for me in all these years. Sure. I finished my degree after 20 years, have two wonderful kids, a spouse that supports my continuous community service projects, and we live in America’s finest city.
A friend recently said my name and the word sedentary do not belong in the same sentence, because I am not one to sit still for long. So one day, I decided that since I no longer have a job and everyone is pretty much stuck at home, I would put more focus on the weekly sessions with my coach. Six months ago, I had hired a coach to help me start a business. The first meeting was reevaluating the plan. Or should I say actually getting serious about taking myself serious; even though I have been a compassionate advocate for thirty years, board member of several community organizations, and run for public office. Did I mention I have traveled the world for closer to forty years as a military brat and then a spouse? It wasn’t until I made time to make ME important that I finally felt confident again and ready to tackle another chapter in my life. What a great opportunity to use the statement ‘no better time like the present’.
Oh, I’m anxious because this isn’t a one day solution. This is a commitment for life. I had to read through my kudos box upon advice from my coach to realize I am enough, thanks to the picture of my young adult niece. Inspiration can come from anywhere. The tear jerker came after reading a girlfriend’s letter to me after I ran for school board for the second time and lost. Only her words showed conviction and courage for my challenging public endeavor. She wrote a profound statement that continues to motivate me, ‘ I deeply respect the person you are and the true kindness of your heart. You are modeling for many women, including me, such strong qualities.’
This time of reflection helped me see that I can work to be fulfilled again. I vow to live a favorite quote of mine from the Hillbilly Elegy, ‘What makes the successful are the expectations they have for their lives’. I am stepping into the expectation I have for myself which is to keep evolving. And one last thing, ‘The future looks bright. I have to wear shades’. Stay true to yourself. --The Evolving Mother
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