I didn’t realize I liked to journal…until I did it consistently inconsistent for 3 years. Yes. I wasn't 'religious' enough to do it daily. I did find a daily reading that helped me get through my mother’s death. From time to time, I would write a note alongside the text because I was overwhelmed and just wanted to see if journaling would help me see patterns, good or bad. As luck would have it, or maybe it was just time, I began to see my perspective on matters and how I faced them. Enlightening but also frightening. After three years, it dawned on me, I can be hardheaded, but I was growing. Frankly, I don’t like that word ‘growing’ because my body has grown in the middle and I am not expecting a wee lit’l joy. The word I choose to use is evolve. I am evolving into menopause. Ugh! Ironically, I nabbed an email the summer before my mother died. It was called theevolvingmother@gmail.com.
Although, I have evolved into a great mom and community advocate, it took losing my job and a pandemic to get me to realize I didn’t value what I had accomplished. I said I am hardheaded, and I guess we can add stubborn to the description. However, these traits have also helped me persevere in times of trouble. It was challenging being a mother of two, traveling military spouse, and community advocate. Many of you know my passion is strengthening families and communities. For this next season though, I will be taking a chance on me. Now I am singing the song by ABBA with that title.
I have accomplished many things these last seven years, my biggest revelation was journaling in my devotional by Sarah Jacobs, not daily remember. Her inspiration helped me get through some of the most challenging growth spurts; my mother passing away and my children graduating from high school and growing up. What’s more interesting to me is how many people gave me the same book over these years. Inspiration or Insinuation. (Awkward face)
Sara has written two words that have helped me focus on evolving and appreciating my accomplishments so I am not so hard-headed in the next phase. These words are so common we often take them lightly and forget, when written in tandem, can help us profoundly--present moment. It is absolutely hard to be happy all day every day but you can choose to be happy in the moment at present. Wishing you happiness for this moment.
–The Evolving Mother
*It is important to know ‘that self-sufficiency is a myth perpetuated by pride and temporary success’. --Sarah Jacobs, Jesus Calling, pg 125, April 30. (no year intentionally)